Toplessness, self-stimulation & the Bible

One's Thoughts While Self-stimulating Make the Difference.
Can a single person self-stimulate sexually and still be godly?
By R Tyler Copyright  01/14/'08
P.O.Box 620763, San Diego, CA 92162-0763
oldservant@gmail.com, oldeservant@excite.com

If I'm separated from my mate, can I self-stimulate sexually thinking of my mate?
Should a godly man think of touching the skin of a woman (who is not his own mate) with his penis while self-stimulating to orgasm?
Should a godly man think of a woman (who is not his own mate) touching his penis while self-stimulating to orgasm?
Should a godly woman think of a man (who is not her own mate) touching her with is penis while self-stimulating to orgasm?
Should a godly woman think of touching the penis of a man (who is not her own mate) while self-stimulating?
What may a godly person think of when looking at someone and stimulating oneself to orgasm, and still be godly?

Some men with high blood levels of testosterone need to void their prostates by orgasm to prevent prostate congestion, inflamation, irritation, prostititis and prostate cancer.  Men need to find sexual release and delight in their wives. Wives need to find sexual release and delight in their own men.

***1 Cor 7:2and because of the whoredom each man should be having his own wife, and  each woman should be having her own husband;  , , ,  4the wife over her own body hath not authority, but the husband [has the authority]; and, in like manner also, the husband over his own body hath not authority, but the wife [has the authority].
5Do not wrongfully deny one another [marital intimacy], except by consent for a time, that ye may be free for fasting and prayer, and again may come together, that the Adversary may not tempt you because of your incontinence;  . . .  8And I say to the unmarried and to the widows: it is good for them if they may remain even as I am; 9 and if they have not abstinent control of themselves—they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn;

If a man has high levels of testosterone in his blood, experiences prostate congestion with increasing difficulty in urination, and is single or is not able to have an orgasm with his wife then, according to my two endocrinologists, he should cause himself to have an orgasm to void his prostate and relieve the prostate congestion. The orgasm would also release the testosterone-adrenalin pressure on his mind, decreasing the intensity of the sexual temptation, and his ability to deal with sexual temptations. Some women with high levels of testosterone in their blood will also experience this mental release after orgasm. Women who are sex addicts will also experience this mental release after orgasm.

There are numerous ways a man or a woman can have an orgasm by him/herself, but self-stimulation to orgasm is probably the most common. No where in the Bible is self-stimulation to orgasm declared to be sin, as long as the self-stimulator does not think of  sex sin or of doing sex sin while he/she self stimulates to orgasm. Romans 14 is the only passage that has a direct bearing on such a question of a controversial matter of conscience and personal liberty.  The application goes like this paraphrased version of Rom 14:
PARAPHRASED  FOR APPLICATION:14The Lord Jesus has given me the knowledge and conviction that [self-stimulation is not] unacceptable in and of itself. But it is unacceptable to a person who thinks it is. 15So if [your self-stimulation] hurts another Christian, you are no longer living by love. Don’t destroy anyone by [your self-stimulation]. Christ died for that person. 16Don’t allow anyone to say that what you consider good is evil.
17God’s kingdom does not consist of what a person [does re self-stimulation]. Rather, God’s kingdom consists of God’s approval and peace, as well as the joy that the Holy Spirit gives. 18The person who serves Christ with this in mind is pleasing to God and respected by people.
19So let’s pursue those things which bring peace and which are good for each other. 20Don’t ruin God’s work because of [your self-stimulation]. All food is acceptable, but it’s wrong for a person to eat something if it causes someone else to have doubts. 21The right thing to do is to avoid eating meat, drinking wine, or doing anything else [including self-stimulation] that causes another Christian to have doubts. 22So whatever you believe about these things [like self-stimulation], keep it between yourself and God. The person who does what he knows is right shouldn’t feel guilty. He is blessed. 23But if a person has doubts and still eats [or self-stimulates], he is condemned because he didn’t act in faith. Anything that is not done in faith is sin.

We know from Prov 5:15-20; Ezek 23: 1-21; 1 Cor 6 and Rom 7:1-3 that it is sex sin for a man to do and the breasts and pudenda/vulva of any woman who is not his own maritally, that it is sex sin for a man to see the pudenda/vulva of any woman who is not his own maritally. We know from the Scriptures below (see Genital Contact) that a man should not touch a woman (who is not his own marital partner) with his penis, and a woman who is not his own marital partner should not touch his penis. So if a man stimulates himself to orgasm without thinking of  doing these sex sins, without thinking those sex sins,he is doing no sin, for the Bible no where declares this to be sin.

So a godly person can stimulate oneself  to orgasm by oneself as long as his/her thinking is free of sin. No where in Scripture is it declared to be sin to kiss, touch, caress, massage, embrace, hold etc the other parts of a woman’s body, her feet, legs, thighs, butt, navel, stomach, back, arms, neck and face. So a person can stimulate oneself to orgasm thinking of doing these things to those non-sexual parts of her/his body, without sin. Usually such thinking is not necessary for the normal highly testosteroned male, all he has to do is see a beautiful and desirable woman in an exciting pose and he has an erection and is capable of having an orgasm by her beauty alone. The same is true of the female sex addict and highly testoseroned female.

And there is the rub, the problem. It is no sin for a one to enjoy, delight in, be pleased with and approve of the exciting and stimulating beauty of  a virtuous woman who keeps her pudenda/vulva covered. It is a deadly sin for a person to enjoy, delight in, be pleased with and/or approve of the exciting and stimulating beauty of  an ungodly woman, or the handsomeness of an ungodly man, who exposes her pudenda/vulva  in sexual intimacy to someone other than her own man, her marital partner. It is a deadly sin for a person to enjoy, delight in, be pleased with and/or approve of the exciting and stimulating  handsomeness of an ungodly man who participates in the exposure of the pudenda/vulva  in sexual intimacy of a woman who is not his own, who participates in touching a woman (who is not his own mate) with his penis, and/or who participates in letting a woman (who is not his own mate) touch/do his penis.

***Rom 1:26 Because of this did God give them up to dishonourable affections, for even their females did change the natural [sexual] use into that against nature, [females with females working genitals];  27 and in a similar manner also the males having left the natural [sexual] use of the female, did burn in their [sexual] longing toward one another; males with males working genitals, and the recompense of their error that was fit, in themselves receiving.  28 And, according as they did not approve of having God in knowledge, God gave them up to a disapproved mind, to do the things not seemly;  29 having been filled with all unrighteousness,  sex sin, . . . ; 32 who the righteous judgment of God having known—that those practising such things are worthy of death—not only do them, but also have delight in and/or with those practising them.

***1 Cor 6:9Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, . . . nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, 10 . . . will inherit the kingdom of God. ESV

***Rev 21: 8 But as for . . .  the sexually immoral, . . . , their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”

So people who keep on doing sex sin, practicing sex sin, are worthy of death, shall not inherit the Kingdom of God, and shall be quarantined with their sin in Hell, according to the righteous judgment of God. Those who keep on doing sex sin, practicing sex sin, are also worthy of death, but it is a step further into the righteous wrath and judgment of God to take pleasure in, to have delight in and/or with a woman who lets a male who is not her own mate touch her with his penis, who touches the penis of a man who is not her own mate, who lets such a man do her breasts, and/or see and/or do her pudenda/vulva. It is a step further into the righteous wrath and judgment of God to enjoy, be pleased with and/or approve of such a woman or man who does such things. It is sin worthy of death to take pleasure in, to enjoy, delight in, be pleased with and/or approve of such person who does such things whether she/he be clothed, unclothed, doing sex sin, or reading a book in the library. So a godly person shouldn’t stimulate oneself to orgasm looking at or thinking of such a sinful person because he/she would be enjoying and delighting in one who does sex sin, one who keeps on doing sex sin, instead of turning to Jesus to be saved from all of her/his sins.  

Profile of the godly who stimulate themselves to orgasm without sin, abstaining from sexually sinful thoughts:
***1John 1:7 But if we walk in the Light [Jesus<1>], as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son keeps on cleansing us from all sin. 8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the Truth [Jesus <1>] is not in us. 9 If we agree [with God] about our sins [and forsake them<2>, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to keep on cleansing us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His Word (Jesus <3>) is not in us. . . 2:3 And by this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep on doing His commandments. 4 Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep on obeying his commandments is a liar, and the Truth (Jesus <1>) is not in Him, 5 but whoever keeps on obeying His word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may be sure that we are in Him: 6 whoever says he abides in him ought to keep on walking in the same way in which He walked.
<1> John 14:6 - - - - <2> Prov 28:13; 2 Cor 2 and 7 - - - - <3> John 1:1-3

Profile of the ungodly who keep on stimulting themselves to orgasm sinfully:
***1John 2:19 They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us. . . . 3:4 Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness. . . . 6No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him. 7 Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever keeps on practicing righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous. 8 Whoever keeps on making it a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. . . . 9 No one born of God keeps on making it a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning<1> because he has been born of God. 10By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice keep on doing righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.
<1> A genuine child of God cannot keep on sinning because God has promised to chasten him/her in his/her sin, using weakness, sickness or even death to get His child to stop misusing his/her body (Heb 12; 1 Cor 5:3-5; 11:30-35).
If a child of His will not stop misusing his/her body and/or mind, Father will take his/her body away from him/her and take his/her soul/spirit to Heaven to be safe from sin with Him.

CONTINUING the theme - - - - - -
A person may be godly and stimulate oneself to orgasm looking at a virtuous and godly person, enjoying an delighting in her/his beauty without thinking of doing sex sin with her/him or to her/him, perhaps thinking of kissing, touching, caressing, massaging, embracing, holding etc the other parts of  her/his body, her/his feet, legs, thighs, butt, navel, stomach, back, arms, neck and face. For this reason Christian brothers who have testosterone induced temptations and/or congested prostates need to see desirable and attractive Christian sisters, or see female models who at least - to the best of our knowledge-  are not involved in sex sin, so that they may, without sin, stimulate themselves to orgasm sinlessly while looking at or thinking of them; and thus find sinless relief from testosterone pressure and prostate congestion. The same is true of Christian sisters who are sex addicts, or who have high levels of testosterone in their blood and need to find relief by self-stimulation to orgasm.

REMEMBER that it is impossible for you to control your own thoughts especially when it comes to sex. That is the Spirit's work. You call on Jesus to save you from sinful thoughts and from your own natural inability to control your thoughts (Rom 10:13), you present and yield your body and mind to Jesus for His use (Rom 6:12-14,19), and then trust Him to work and will in you the Spirit's control of your thoughts (Phil 2:13: Heb 13:20,21; John 15:1-5) while sexually stimulating yourself to orgasm in a godly manner.

GENITAL CONTACT
We who are under the New Covenant, the Law of Christ, are expected by God to keep ourselves from what the OT Law declares to be sex sin. This is made clear in Acts 15, Acts 21:17-27. While the definitions of sex sin came into the Church age unchanged, the social and legal consequences of sex sin under OT Law did not remain unchanged. Israel today and no other country on earth observes and/or enforces the OT Law’s social and legal consequences of sex sin. So let’s consider how the OT Law defines the sex sin from which we are to carefully and diligently abstain.

Lev 18:22 * And thou shalt not lie<07901> with mankind as one lieth with a
woman: it is an abomination. 23 And thou shalt lie<07901> with no beast to
become unclean therewith; and a woman shall not stand before a beast to lie<07901>
down with it: it is confusion.

A key word in this consideration is Strong's 07901 shakab {shaw-kab'}; v
Qal: to lie, lie down, lie on, to lie (of sexual relations)

The 3rd Century B.C. Jewish translators who gave us the Septuagint rendered
"Shakab" in the Greek as "Koitayn".  Koitayn is rendered by Lexigrapher Thayer
as "cohabitation, . . . sexual intercourse." Harper's Analytical Greek Lexicon
agrees. Lexigraphers Arndt & Gingrich go even further rendering it as "sexual
intercourse, . . . seminal emission (Num 5:20 . . . Lev 15:16f, 32; 18:20; 22:4 . . .)." This is the Greek word used in Heb 13:4 of marital sex in the marriage bed. To have sexual intercourse with someone is to be communicating and/or interacting with someone by means of a sex organ (penis, pudenda, vulva, clitoris, vagina). If a person does not realize that there is communication and interaction when the penis of a man touches the skin of a woman, that person doesn't know sex. Nonverbal communication is as significant as verbal communication and powerful and effective nonverbal communication is the penis of a man touching the skin or mucous membrane of a woman, or the clitoris/labia/pudenda/vulva/vagina of a woman touching the skin or mucous membrane of a man, or the breast/nipple  of a woman of a woman touching the skin or mucous membrane of a man. Only the ignorant fail to realize the reality of nonverbal communication when the penis of a man is inside the body of a woman.

Body fluids make one defiled or unclean under the Law. A woman who has contact with the penis fluids of a man who is not her own man maritally has been "defiled" sexually, and is fornication since a woman, under the Law should be defiled by penis fluids only by her own man. See Gen 34:5,13,27; Deut 22:20-30.

From the Holy Spirit's use of <07901> above I understand the following:

1. A single woman touching/doing the genital of a man is a single woman
relating to a man by means of his genital, therefore it is <07901 shakab> behavior.
If her relating to the man by his genital (anally, orally or manually) was
voluntary and she did not cry out for someone to rescue her from the man's
sexual activity,it was sex sin (Deut 22:23-29; Acts 21:16-26; 1 Cor 6:9-20), the
sex sin we are told to avoid and flee from in Acts 21:25 and 2 Tim 2:22.

2. A single woman receiving penis of man in her mouth is a single woman relating to a man by means of his genital, therefore it is <07901 shakab> behavior. If her relating to the man by his genital orally was voluntary and she did not cry out for someone to rescue her from the man's sexual activity, it was sex sin (Deut 22:23-29; Acts 21:16-26; 1 Cor 6:9-20), the sex sin we are told to
avoid and flee from in Acts 21:25 and 2 Tim 2:22.

3. A single woman receiving a penis in her anus is a single woman relating to a man by means of his genital, therefore it is <07901 shakab> behavior. If her relating to the man by his genital anally was voluntary and she did not cry out for someone to rescue her from the man's sexual activity,it was sex sin
(Deut 22:23-29; Acts 21:16-26; 1 Cor 6:9-20), the sex sin we are told to avoid
and flee from in Acts 21:25 and 2 Tim 2:22.

4. A single woman letting a man touch his penis to her skin (feet, legs, thighs, buttocks, buns, stomach, back, hand, arm, arm pit, neck, face and/or mouth) is a single woman relating by her skin to a man by means of his genital, therefore it is <07901 shakab> behavior. If her relating to the man by his
genital and her skin was voluntary and she did not cry out for someone to rescue her
from the man's sexual activity,it was sex sin (Deut 22:23-29; Acts 21:16-26; 1 Cor 6:9-20), the sex sin we are told to avoid and flee from in Acts 21:25 and 2 Tim 2:22.

5. If a man imagines and/or thinks about doing any of the above with a single woman, it is <07901 shakab> behavior, it is sex sin (Mat 5;28; Deut 22:23-29; Acts 21:16-26; 1 Cor 6:9-20), the sex sin we are told to avoid and flee from in Acts 21:25 and 2 Tim 2:22.

6. If a man imagines, thinks about or actually does touch any part of a
woman's skin other than her privates (pudenda, vagina, clitoris, vulva, labia,
anus, breasts, nipples) with any part of his body than his penis and/or scrotum,
it is not specifically or explicitly declared to be sin in the Bible, as far as I know, and comes under the principles of Romans 14. So as far as I know, it is a Romans 14 matter for a man to imagine, think about or actually use his hands or feet to massage a single woman's feet, legs, thighs, buns, stomach,
back, neck, hands, arms and/or face. The husband has sexual authority over the
body of his wife (1 Cor 7:3,4), so any other man should get permission from him
before he imagines, thinks about or actually touches those parts of another man's woman.

7. If a woman imagines, thinks about or actually does touch any part of a
man's skin other than his penis and/or scrotum with any part of her body other
than her her privates (pudenda, vagina, clitoris, vulva, labia, anus, breasts,
nipples), it is not specifically or explicitly declared to be sin in the Bible, as far as I know, and comes under the principles of Romans 14. So as far as I know, it is a Romans 14 matter for a single woman to imagine, think about or actually let a man use his hands/feet to massage her feet,
legs, thighs, buns, stomach, back, neck, hands, arms and/or face. The husband has sexual authority over the body of his wife (1 Cor 7:3,4), so any other man should get permission form him before she lets another man imagine, think about or actually touch those parts of hers; and she needs to get her own man's permission before she lets another man imagine, think about or actually touch her nonsexual parts.

8. The act of sexually stimulating oneself to  to orgasm, without physical contact with another, is no where in the Bible declared specifically, explicitly or clearly to be sin, as long as one does not think sexually sinful thoughts, does not think of doing sex sin. Self-stimulation that doesn't involve thoughts of actions that are specifically, explicitly and clearly declared to be sin by God, such self-stimulation becomes a matter of Romans 14. As far as I know, if a man has the doubt-free faith/belief that it is acceptable to God to self-stimulate to orgasm while thinking about kissing, licking and/or manually touching a single woman's feet, legs, thighs, buns, back, stomach, neck, hands, arms and/or face - while and after having massaged those body parts with olive oil and honey, it is a Romans 14 issue and he should have such faith/belief and/or practice privately, discretely and secretly before God according to Romans 14:22-23.
PARAPHRASED  FOR APPLICATION:14The Lord Jesus has given me the knowledge and conviction that [self-stimulation is not] unacceptable in and of itself. But it is unacceptable to a person who thinks it is. 15So if [your self-stimulation] hurts another Christian, you are no longer living by love. Don’t destroy anyone by [your self-stimulation]. Christ died for that person. 16Don’t allow anyone to say that what you consider good is evil.
17God’s kingdom does not consist of what a person [does re self-stimulation]. Rather, God’s kingdom consists of God’s approval and peace, as well as the joy that the Holy Spirit gives. 18The person who serves Christ with this in mind is pleasing to God and respected by people.
19So let’s pursue those things which bring peace and which are good for each other. 20Don’t ruin God’s work because of [your self-stimulation]. All food is acceptable, but it’s wrong for a person to eat something if it causes someone else to have doubts. 21The right thing to do is to avoid eating meat, drinking wine, or doing anything else [including self-stimulation] that causes another Christian to have doubts. 22So whatever you believe about these things [like self-stimulation], keep it between yourself and God. The person who does what he knows is right shouldn’t feel guilty. He is blessed. 23But if a person has doubts and still eats [or self-stimulates], he is condemned because he didn’t act in faith. Anything that is not done in faith is sin.

9.> As far as I know, if a single woman has the doubt-free faith/belief that it is acceptable to God to self-stimulate to orgasm while thinking about a man
kissing, licking and/or manually touching her feet, legs, thighs, buns, back, stomach,
neck, hands, arms and/or face, it is a Romans 14 issue and she should have
such faith/belief and/or practice privately, discretely and secretly before God according to Romans 14:22

10.> From Ezek 23 we learn more about sex sin in the following amplified (using Strong’s Lexicon) paraphrase:
‘Son of man, there were two women, daughters of one mother. 3* And they committed SEX SIN in Egypt; they committed SEX SIN in their youth: there were their breasts pressed, squeezed, handled, and pressed and there were handled, pressed, squeezed the nipples of their virginity. . . . 8* Neither left she
her SEX SINS brought from Egypt; for in her youth they had [SEXUALLY] lain with
her, and had handled, pressed, and squeezed the breasts and nipples of her virginity, and poured their sex sin upon her. . . 10* These laid bare and made known her pudenda and vagina, . . . and they executed judgment upon her. . . . . . 17* And the children of Babylon came to her into the SEXUAL LYING DOWN of lovemaking, and their sexual emissions defiled her with their SEX SIN; she shared her sexual emissions with them , and her soul was alienated from them. . . 18* And she laid bare and made known her sex sins, and laid bare and made known her pudenda and vagina; and my soul was alienated from her, like as my soul was alienated from her sister. . . . 20* and she evilly desired their female lovers, whose [sexual] flesh is as the [sexual] flesh of asses, and whose [sexual] issue is as the [sexual] issue of horses. 21 And you remembered the [sexually] loose ways of your early years, in the handling and using of your breasts and nipples by the Egyptians, for the [desire of your] breasts of your youth. . . . Behold, I will raise up your lovers against you, from whom your soul is alienated, and I will bring them against you on every side. 23 . . all of them attractive young men, governors and rulers, great lords and renowned, all of them riding upon horses. 24 And they shall come against you . . . and I will put judgment before them, and they shall judge you according to their judgments. 25 And I will set my jealousy against you, and they shall deal furiously with you: they shall cut off your nose and your ears, and your remnant shall fall by the sword; they shall take your sons and your daughters; and your residue shall be devoured by the fire. 26 They shall also strip you of your garments, and take away your fair jewels. [Ezek 23]

11.> Couple Ezek 23 - - -
3* And they committed SEX SIN in Egypt; they committed SEX SIN in their youth: there were their breasts pressed, squeezed, handled, and pressed and there were handled, pressed, squeezed the nipples of their virginity. . . 8* Neither left she her SEX SINS brou ght from Egypt; for in her youth they had [SEXUALLY] lain with her, and had handled, pressed, and squeezed the breasts and nipples of her virginity, and poured their sex sin upon her. . . 21 And she made the memory of the loose ways of her early years come back to mind, in the handling and using of your breasts and nipples by the Egyptians, for the [desire of your] breasts of your youth.
- - - - with Prov 5 - - - - -
20 [with Strong's references] And why will you, my son, be ravished <07686> (8799) with an immoral woman estranged [from God and His people]<02114> (8801), and embrace <02263> (8762) the bosom <02436> of one who is an alien [to God and His people] <05237>?
- - - - the understanding I have is that embracing, handling, pressing, using and/or squeezing the breasts of a woman who is not your own woman maritally - - - whether or not the breats/nipples be clothed or bare - - - -  is sex sin.

12.> Ezek 23 makes it clear that it is sex sin to lay bare, uncover, and/or expose the pudenda/vulva/labia/vagina/clitoris of a woman who is not your own marital partner
18* And she laid bare and made known her sex sins, and laid bare and made known her pudenda and vagina; and my soul was alienated from her, like as my soul was alienated from her sister.

13.>The nonJewish Christian might be tempted to use 1 Tim 4:1-4 to rationalize doing oral sex when single or with a single woman. The error in that is that is essential to realize that "fornication, sexual immorality, sex sin" at the time of Acts 14, before the nonJewish Christians were released from most of the Sinai Law in Acts 15 and 21:15-26. For a proper understanding of the Word on "fornication, sexual immorality, sex sin"  when the Spirit led the Apostles in Acts 15 and Acts 21:15-26, it has to be observed that the Spirit did not move the Apostles to change the definition of "fornication, sexual immorality, sex sin". Just as Jesus did not change the definition of "fornication, sexual immorality, sex sin" when He first spoke of "fornication, sexual immorality, sex sin" in Mat 5:32; 19:9; the Apostles - inspired by the Spirit - in the same way did not change the definition of "fornication, sexual immorality, sex sin" when they instructed the nonJewish Christians to avoid "fornication, sexual immorality, sex sin" in Acts 15 and Acts 21:15-26. Oral sex and anal sex were sin because of the Sinai Laws of sex and uncleanness that both Jesus and the Apostles observed (Mat 23:3; Acts 21:24, 25, 26) the same Sinai Laws about "fornication, sexual immorality, sex sin" that they imposed on the nonJewish Christians when they told them to abstain from "fornication, sexual immorality, sex sin" in Acts 15 and Acts 21:15-26. Oral sex and anal sex were sin during Acts 14, and they continued to be sin after Acts 15.

Oral sex and genital to skin contact involves ceremonial unholiness, uncleanness. The sin of uncleanness is the sin of violating holiness, sanctification, being set apart only for designated actions/functions. In marriage the wife's body is sexually sanctified, set apart, for her husband who has sexual authority over it; and the husband's body is sanctified, set apart, for his wife who has sexual authority over it (1 Cor 7:2-5). Holiness and moral cleanness are really important thing to God. Oral sex is a Romans 14 issue, since there are no explicit and specific instructions from God in His Word/Bible.
Self-stimulating&ControllingOne'sThoughts

Controlling One's Thoughts While Self-stimulating